6 Things Not To Tell Someone Struggling with Mental Health

Dear life traveler,

Like me, I am sure you have confronted relationships in your life with an individual who has been struggling with something from their past, present or future life.  You would be hard to find someone who does not want to support their friend, family and perhaps even a stranger in need.  However, sometimes what we say to someone who is struggling can sometimes make the person feel worse, not better.

 Whatever you do, avoid saying the following things to someone who is struggling.

1.    One of the most unhelpful pieces of advice often given to those struggling with mental health is "Just think positive" or "Look on the bright side." This advice, while well-intentioned, grossly oversimplifies the complexity of mental health issues. As highlighted in a Reddit discussion, many individuals with mental health challenges find this advice frustrating and invalidating.  It implies that their struggles are a choice or a result of negative thinking, rather than acknowledging the real, often biochemical, basis of many mental health conditions. This advice can make people feel misunderstood and reluctant to seek proper help.

2.    Another piece of harmful advice is "Everyone has problems, just get over it." This statement minimizes the individual's experience and can lead to feelings of guilt or inadequacy. As noted in the Mayo Clinic's article on mental health stigma, such attitudes can worsen a person's mental health problems and discourage them from seeking treatment.  This advice fails to recognize that mental health issues are legitimate medical conditions that often require professional intervention, not simply a matter of willpower or perspective.

3.    The advice to "Just pray about it" or rely solely on spiritual solutions can also be detrimental. While spirituality can be a source of comfort for some, suggesting it as the only solution to mental health issues can prevent individuals from seeking necessary medical or psychological help. As mentioned in the Reddit thread, this advice often doesn't work for many people and can lead to feelings of failure or abandonment if their condition doesn't improve through prayer alone

4.    Telling someone with mental health issues to "Snap out of it" or "Pull yourself together" is another form of harmful advice. This implies that the person has control over their condition and is choosing to remain unwell. According to the Better Health Channel, such stigmatizing attitudes can make mental health problems worse and stop a person from getting the help they need.  This advice fails to recognize the complex nature of mental health conditions, and the professional help often required to manage them.

5.    The advice to "Just exercise more" or "Get some sunshine" as a cure-all for mental health issues is overly simplistic and potentially harmful. While exercise and exposure to nature can have positive effects on mental health, as noted by the Mental Health Foundation, suggesting these as the sole solution to complex mental health issues can be dismissive of the severity of the person's condition. It may lead individuals to delay seeking professional help, believing that their inability to "cure" themselves through lifestyle changes is a personal failure.

6.    Finally, telling someone "You're too smart to be depressed" or suggesting that mental illness is a sign of weakness is not only incorrect but deeply stigmatizing. As highlighted in the Reddit discussion, such statements reflect a profound misunderstanding of mental health conditions.  The Mayo Clinic emphasizes that mental illnesses are not a sign of weakness and are rarely something one can deal with on their own.  This type of advice can lead to feelings of shame and self-doubt, potentially exacerbating the person's mental health struggles and discouraging them from seeking necessary treatment.

Serenity Steps recognises that while theories help us understand ourselves, life's complexities often extend beyond simple explanations.

In today's world, mental health growth and support, is no longer confined to traditional office visits or intrusive home consultations.

Using a virtual and flexible platform, Serenity Steps offers coaching, counselling, and therapeutic support to empower individuals to define, pursue, and achieve their unique life goals. This flexible platform allows clients to work towards their ideal future in an environment that feels most conducive to their progress.