Coping with Grief and Loss

Good afternoon life travellers,

It's been a difficult week! We are having to move from rural Adelaide back to Adelaide city for numerous reasons. For the past 12 months we have shared our lives with 7 cats who we loved and adored. Unfortunately, we could not take them to our new residence. Long story short, after trying to leave our cats with a refuge so that they could find new homes with them, the cats escaped with 5 still on the run. To say this has caused great grief and loss is an understatement.

I'm sure like myself, you have experienced grief and loss some time throughout your life. Grief is a deeply personal and individual experience that can result from various types of loss, not just the death of a loved one. It can stem from major life changes, job loss, divorce, or even moving to a new place.

Understanding that grief is a normal and natural response to loss is the first step in dealing with it. Allow yourself to grieve and create time and space to experience the range of emotions that come following a loss.

One of the most important aspects of coping with grief is acknowledging your pain and accepting that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions. It's crucial to face your grief and actively deal with it rather than trying to ignore or suppress it. Attempting to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process and can lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with grief. Eat well, stay hydrated, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Try to maintain normal routines wherever possible. Initially, you may consider taking time out from work and study commitments to lessen the stress on you during this time. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and refrain from making big decisions, especially in the first year after a significant loss.

Seeking support from others is a vital part of the grieving process. Accept help from family and friends, and let them know what they can do to assist you. Consider talking to a health professional or joining a support group to share your experience and listen to the experiences of others in similar situations. Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around, so sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can be incredibly helpful.

Expressing your feelings in tangible or creative ways can be therapeutic. If you've recently lost a loved one, try expressing your feelings through a letter to the deceased. Writing a message about your emotions can be cathartic and aid with coping. Journaling about positive memories, creating a scrapbook, or volunteering for a cause related to your loss can also help release emotions and process grief.

It's important to understand that grief affects everybody differently, and there is no "right" way to grieve. Grief is not age-specific or limited to certain populations. Children, teens, and adults all grieve, and everyone has their own unique form of grieving. Recognize this fact and expect signs of grief from all involved parties, no matter their age.

Prepare for recurring grief, especially around significant dates or events. Holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions can trigger intense feelings of grief, even years after a loss. Be aware of these potential triggers and identify what you can do to cope. Plan an activity or engage in a ritual at this time to remember and acknowledge the loss. Allow yourself to celebrate the happy memories you have.

Avoid negative coping strategies and avoidance techniques. While it may seem easier in the short term to use substances such as alcohol and drugs to temporarily reduce the experience of intense pain and sadness, these avoidance strategies only delay the grieving process and have a negative impact on emotional and physical well-being. Remember, to make healthy strategies, such as exercise and meditation a part of your everyday life, so that when an experience than brings loss and grief arises you already know these health strategies.

If you're supporting someone who is grieving, it's important to initiate contact and be available to spend time together. Respect that your friend may need to cry, hug, talk, be silent, or be alone. Listening can be a great support, even if you're unsure what to say. Don't be afraid to talk about the person who has died – the person you're supporting may want to hear their name. Try to avoid giving advice or using clichés, and instead, offer simple words of comfort.

Finally, remember that healing from grief is a process that takes time, and there's no set timeline for when you should feel better. It's unpredictable and may come and go in waves, often in unexpected moments. Take each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead. If you find that your grief is persistent and interfering with your ability to function in daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or grief counselor who can provide additional support and guidance through the grieving process.